pure love

Right at the change of the semester I found myself walking through my high school's hallways on an average January day. 

At approximately 10:30AM, I laid eyes on a boy that would change my life forever. 

I lost my breath and could tell at that very moment I wanted to get to know him, be with him. 

Little did I know he was the foreign exchange student from France (Seeing that Paris is the love capital of the world, it's kind of interesting).

As I took the bus home that day, I found that same face on MY school bus. I immediately lost my breath and I felt a weird tingling feeling behind my knee caps. He caught sight of my face and gave me a small smirk of a smile. 

No, I didn't work up the courage to talk to him on the first day but I wish I had (he was my neighbor and I wasn't about to make an awkward next six months).

Days passed and I saw him everywhere. Does he see me? Does he think i'm pretty or anything? Will he talk to me? 

Finally, I sat down in the same bus seat as him and introduced myself. "Hi, i'm katie blah blah blah... do you like the US?" Basic questions. 

We exchanged numbers and friend requested me on facebook. we made arrangements that night to see each other and he walked to my house and met my family (moving fast, huh) . 

Okay toward the end of February, he asked me to be his girlfriend (FINALLY). We got serious, and fast. Seeing each other every day at school and then going home to see one another you would think we would get sick of each other. I would pick him up for school, make us both coffee and be on our way. 

I lived 6 months in absolute denial. He would never be going home and we would never ever break up (typical yet unusual high school relationship). June 26th rolled around and the next thing I knew I was standing in his drive way with tears running down my face. 

I couldn't look at him. I felt his tears hitting my head but I could look up at his face to see him upset. Oh I loved him. I kept saying we would be okay and that we would always have one another in our lives. "I love you and i'll never ever forget you" were his last words to me. I drove back to my house, sat in my car for a bit and let the tears fall.

I wanted to run right back that that drive way and beg him to stay. I wasn't strong enough to handle it and I wanted him to be with me forever. sleepless night after sleepless night. I felt like hell and I sure looked like it too. 

I didn't hear from him. Why wasn't he letting me know he made it back okay? Or saying he missed me or something? I started panicking and fast. Two weeks of silence and I finally snapped. We weren't the same and we lived an ocean apart. The relationship ended and we tried being friends. After many months of trying, we were able to be ourselves together. 

So now I'm here. Strongest than I've ever been and talking to the boy who won me over time and time again. We message each other a couple times a week and Skype when it fits our schedules. I'm studying abroad next year in France and plan on meeting up with him again. 

I learned love exists everywhere and some of us are lucky to find it so young.

Oh, and heres some pics of us! :) 

High School- beneficial or a bandaid

So here you are, standing on the edge of the stage.

Waiting to hear your name, shake hands, and receive a piece of paper stating you made it through the easiest part of your life.

That's right, you heard me.

In high school, you realize that EVERY was sugar coated. Oh you forgot to turn a paper in? Just turn it in the next day for a couple points marked off. Forgot your lunch? just borrow some money and pay it later.

I went to a conservative, public, predominantly white school. Farming is a big deal in this side of PA. Conservative teachers, conservative administrators, conservative students. Vicious cycle, huh?

I can easily sit here and tell you I learned nothing of value in high school. Sure, I know the quadratic formula, Einsteins theories, and how to write a synopsis.

Why did I never learn how to balance a check book? Or anything about our president and today's challenging economy? The importance of bills? How to study? ( I really don't understand that one, because as a sophomore in college, you think I would've learned that by now)

Yes, I learned the basics. I took advanced placement history and english classes. But there are SO many options out in the world and we all have so much potential.

What do you think? Is what I'm saying making sense?

I craved more experience in high school. I wanted to see things, participate, and grow. I had this idea that after I graduated this would be EASY.

 can you believe that? me either.

I faced multiple challenges with school, failed a few classes, drank too much, and lost sight of who i was.

Instead of GLORIFYING the graduation of high school, we SHOULD be giving the students hard helmets saying "brace for impact."

Okay, I bet you're thinking "she's 19. what the hell does she know?" I'm growing, each and every day. The past experiences that I've had have been a nightmare. But what doesn't kill, heals and leaves some pretty interesting battle scars.

Maybe I'm ahead of my time. yes, but I wish I would've been better prepared.

I'm dying to hear some of your thoughts,

xo

Love.

WHAT IS LOVE?

Time and time again i tried the dating game with guys my age.

 I was never asked out on any dates, but it was expected that i drive to THEIR house and be put in a more than awkward situation. 

Where was the famous "guy drives to the girls house, picks her up, and meets her parents?" Where's the flowers? The dinner and a movie concept? The stuff a girl spends her day planning for? 

Times are changing, and not for the better. Sure, I've given boys a chance. But looking for love is out of the question. 

But that advice is easier to say than do. We have this fantasy that our love lives are going to be like Jack and Rose or John or the Notebook. Maybe even the Twilight stars, Edward and Bella. So how do we stop ourselves from looking for love? 

But you see ladies and gentlemen, love cannot be found at a college frat party with tons of booze. Love is much more than that and should be treated as such. 

We are influenced by the world around us and I hope that all of you reading realize a boy should never be the sole reason for any of your happiness. Life is much more than that. 

If you choose to love, love yourself first and foremost. Accept who you are and love yourself for it. And after you do that, love what is inside of you. Because you ARE worth it. 

I ask you to realize that love is not a fake or passive thing. 

XO-

Mae King.